New Schedule

This new schedule is tiring! I still am not able to sleep until Rick is home and still get up early. I have to admit, early is not as early as it was before. Now, I am lucky if I have my coffee in my hand when my granddaughter arrives, before I at least had sipped it!

Last weekend was the first weekend he did not have to work. We still had the cleaning job, but at least he had a day off on Saturday. We were able to spend some time together and it was a blessing.

We realized too, that while we need the money from the cleaning job, we can’t keep up this schedule. It is wearing us down. I guess age the hours are getting to us.  Sundays we go to church (75 miles away) then rush home, change and go to work. Usually there is an interruption making it after 8  till we are home and eating supper. Before we know it Monday is here and we start over again. Wednesday nights I clean by myself. While it is not a tough job it means I need to stay at work till Rick gets off (anywhere from 11:30PM on). All I can do is sit and wait.

More changes are ahead as we try to figure a way to make up the money but have it easier on these bodies and give us a much needed day off on a regular basis.

As I was thinking about this I was reminded by the Lord of how he took care of us through the last 3 + years and how he took care of me while I was a widow. Rick took this job in Faith. The pay was about $7 an hour less than what he was making in his previous job. However, he was working for a church that was straying so far from the truth that we could no longer stay there and God opened this door only 3 miles from home. This business paid more of the insurance than the church did so it saved us over $100 a week right there. We stepped out in faith and took the job knowing it would be only God that would get us through.

Shortly after he took it the plant had a lay off. Each week we prayed he would not lose his job and God kept him there. Then they cut hours to 24 a week. God got us through that without falling behind on a credit card, car loan or other bills. We did have to make smaller medical payments but we got through.

Work picked up, Rick got raises and then a promotion. Still not what he was making, but better than we were.  My cleaning job was a big asset and God used it to get us through and help us make ends meet. For me this was a real faith booster. We had this cleaning job while working at the church and needed the money, yet here we were making so much less and still seeing the needs met.

Now, he is still not making what he did back then and we feel we need to give up the cleaning. This is a real test of my faith.  We are so tired though that we see no answer but to let it go at the end of the year.

I know God will come through. More changes.

Comfort Zone Uprooted

Have you had the “normal” life uprooted? Your comfort zone challenged? Changes that are hard to adjust to?

I know, we all have. Life has a way of changing and we need to go with the program. For me, these changes have been hard going. For about 12 years now it seems I have been forced to adapt more than I have wanted to, I cry for my “normal” to return and cry because I miss it so much. However, my normal and comfort zone was uprooted and pulled from me and, as they say, change is inevitable. Abnormal is now the norm.

Living in Texas has been a hard adjustment. I love my hubby, for sure, but the changes are taking a toll on this body. The heat of summer, the bugs, the drought, the “everything pricks, bites or stings” makes walking barefoot something not advisable and anyone who has known me for any time knows I do not like to wear shoes.

Since we married I have been trying to adjust to being far from family and not seeing grandkids from my side. I am so far no one visits and financially we can’t manage trips like we would like.

Getting older has made all this a huge mountain to me. My health is not doing well and I do not like it!

NOW, hubby has got the promotion he has worked hard for and has become a plant supervisor over a few departments… on second shift. No more 40 hours either, for the most part it is more, and since the job started it has been much more.

Never have I liked second or third shift and it is no exception now. My comfort zone is rattled. Sleep is a thing of the past as I have to get up about 5 to be ready for our granddaughter to arrive. Until he is home I can’t sleep well and usually not at all.

Yesterday an ad came on for a show, not a show I watch but the ad struck me. One guy said something about big changes and the other one said life is change and you need to embrace the change.

Embrace? I embrace things I love, but things I hate?

Hubby’s work had a health fair yesterday and since I was trying to get my cholesterol down and can’t take any meds so am using a few natural things I went to see if they were doing anything in the 3 weeks since I have been working on it. They took my blood pressure and it was high. They tried again and it is high. I am already on meds for it. I was upset to say the least.

After it hit me, changes, fears, loneliness, missing my family, wishing hubby would do some things that he keeps procrastinating and not following through on (yes, they make me boil too!) are taking their toll on me.

Embrace change? Make the best of it? Use it creatively and see it as a blessing? What can’t I change leave in God’s hand to work out?

Comfort zone of me is rattled. However, I am being reminded again my comfort zone needs to be in God and, while I pray and ask His help to work out the change, I am not relaxing in the change and waiting to see what HE does with it.

Real comfort and peace come from our comfort zone in HIM, not in the world. God saw me through and cleared my path for years, yet here I am, still not relaxing and always finding peace in HIS comfort zone.

AHHHHHHHHHH it is comfort.

I still need direction. I have a cleaning job that we worked together and now I need to do during the week myself. We need the money, but I think it is “costing” too much at this point. I am praying about what to do and what HIS will is. It is not my comfort zone to give up money when we need it.

Yes, this job has meant a lot of changes after the many others that were still being adjusted to. We went to church on Monday evening because of the cleaning job on Sunday. We can’t do that now. The list goes on.

He loves his job, I hate the hours but am glad he has a job he likes. I am proud of him for working so hard.

God is blessing, many others have no jobs and his plant is hiring! A good thing in this economy and also a blessing of living here in Texas where job growth is among the country’s best.

So, while I am so exhausted  and lack energy making it hard to relax, I know I need to embrace the new and let go of the fears and worries. I need to let God work things so I can either see my family more or have more peace in the missing them.

What ever changes have come to your life, leave the 2nd guessing, fears, worries and unrest in HIS hands and relax. I am not one for bitterness, so that has not been a problem for me for long times, it may pop up but almost never stays with me, however, some people get bitter and revengeful when something rocks their comfort zone. I have seen this destroy people, families and lives over the years.

If we do not accept change and see it as God allowing it to mold, us all the negative will mold us! My fears worry and upset is molding me by making my blood pressure up for one thing!

Today, and moment by moment through the day, I am going to remember to give it to HIM. For me it takes moment by moment! While I pray and know in my heart He is going to care for it all, I am also trying to “care for it” inside and in my “comfort zone” of worry and fear, anger, impatience and all that goes with it. Moment by moment I need to think and stop and remind myself of where my comfort zone really is! IN HIM!

Christmas is coming

I have no idea where this recipe came from, but thought it looked cute enough to share:

Reindeer Cookies

Reindeercookie3311111

Makes: 2 dozen cookies

1 package (16.5 ounces) refrigerated
peanut butter or sugar cookie dough
48 small pretzel twists
48 brown M&M’s candies
24 red M&M’s candies

Place the cookie dough in the freezer for 15 minutes, or until firm.

Preheat the oven to 350°F.

Cut the dough into 24 slices and place the slices 2 inches apart on large

ungreased cookie sheets. Pinch in each side to form an hourglass shape.

Position 2 pretzels at the top of each slice to form antlers then create

eyes with the brown candies and noses with the red candies.

Bake for 8 to 10 minutes, or until golden. Remove to a wire rack to cool completely.

Funerals part 2

I never expected there to be a part two to the last post. There is.

Last Friday a member of our church had a massive heart attack and died suddenly. He was 51. It hit everyone hard as he was one of the most likable guys you would want to know. He was active and never knew a stranger.

I remember one time Dave and I were standing by the snack table at Bible Study. We were both looking at all the great looking stuff on the table. All sweets. Both of us diabetic. We lamented. We laughed. We both took a small piece of something. It was a reminder then of how I had to watch my first hubby or he would have had the whole table gone! Somehow I think if I was not watching Dave might have too!

We could not make the funeral because of distance and my husband’s job, but went to the viewing last night. I was a bit shaken as to how much he resembled my first husband EXCEPT Dave could have made 3 of Willie. He was a big guy, tall and big boned and Willie was not short but weighed about 133 dripping wet.

Memories flooded once again, but this time I had something to offer his widow. I had been there in her shoes. I wrote her a note and when we got to the funeral home she told me that my note made her know she was going to be ok. She said it came and said what was needed.

God used the pain from 12 years ago to help someone else.

We all go through family pain. Sick kids or spouses, trials along the way and grown children in messes with their own families or health all  can be used later to help someone else. I remember at the time of my husband’s death asking to Lord to let me feel, experience and learn from it ALL that HE wanted me to.

Never ask the Lord that unless you mean it! For me it was like hell on earth for a few years. Family and friends did not always understand what I was doing or why. Hey, I did not understand! BUT God knew and when pieces of it all can be used with others along the way it helps heal some of the pain in our own heart and emotions.

Whatever you are going through with family ask God to teach you what HE wants you to learn.  God is helping you grow so you can learn to trust HIM more and be used later on for HIS glory.

Funerals

This week has been a week of funerals. My husband’s  long time friend lost his sister in law and his mother in two days.  As we sat through both funerals and one grave side ceremony I watched family and did a lot of thinking.

Some of the songs were the same as I used when my first husband died. Memories came tumbling down in my head while tears came down on my face and in my heart.  My emotions are struggling right now and I wish I could go hug each of my kids.

The message at the first funeral was ok, but not as strong as I would have wanted. The funeral today gave a strong message for any non believers in the crowd.

One thing that really struck me today though was the memories that family had of the dead one. There was happy times, things said by the person that changed lives of family and gratitude for the way this member was and how much they meant to the family. What bothered me so was “Did they ever tell the person who has just left this world?”

Why do we wait for funerals to write up and tell how the loved one changed us? Or memories we have? Funny things that happened and how it made an impression on us? How they handled a situation that maybe inspired us or just encouraged us? Why do we wait?

I do not want memories read at my funeral. At least not ones that were never said to me or encouraged me along the way.   Let’s try to tell our relatives and friends what we feel and how much they mean to us before we are looking at them in the casket and telling the world.

This was written last week but for some reason never posted…. read on to this week…