As I look around the house I wonder how my husband feels when he comes home.
Now, I am sure no one’s home looks like this. Mine does not either, but with a 21 month old running around making disaster I FEEL like it looks like this. I have toys around, books on the sofa and chair ( books like “Are You My Mother’ and “Simba roars”). There are stickers stuck to my husbands chair. The only reason there is not food on the floor is we have a dog that follows her around and cleans that up.
Then there is my stuff. I have to sew on the dining room table. I use the top of the freezer to cut out my patterns. Right now there is a sewing machine and serger set up on the table, some stacks of fabric, a few patterns cut and waiting to sew, another on the freezer waiting to get cut out and a basket with patterns in the middle of the table.
Kitchen? Dishwasher is clean but not unloaded.
I wonder, how does Rick feel when he walks in and sees this after a hard day at work?
Look at our side as mother’s and grammie’s who watch the grandkids all day. We are exhausted. We have played nurse, cook, housekeeper. playmate, diaper changer, poop scooper and paper towel holder (for the times the potty was not made to!). We have tried to run around like an idiot at nap time so we can accomplish something for the day.
Soon we realize, usually as he is walking in the door, that it is time for hubby to come home.
I wonder about marriages. Are we really giving our spouse the love and attention he needs like we do to the children? They demand it, but he needs it too. Is he getting our best?
I see marriages where the husband complains about the wife and vice versa. How much could be avoided with a little planning on our part?
- Make coming home time a time for the kids to be excited about. Have them help make the living room nice for him to walk in to. My granddaughter is 21 months old, but I can tell her PAPA is coming soon and get her to help some. It may not be the way we would do it, but she does try and picks up things when I tell her he is coming. I make that a special thing. She looks forward to him coming.
- Do your hair before he comes! Still in that nightgown? Get dressed!
- When he comes in ask what you can get him. He may want some ice tea, coffee, whatever. Let him know he is special.
- If he needs time to not talk, give it to him, if not, ask how his day went. Do not start with how your day was!!
- Do not tell him he needs to discipline the kids. This will do two things; one, your kids will not be excited to see him and two, he will not want to come home to crabs. You are with them all day, you do the discipline when they are with you. As moms and grammies we tend to not be firm like we should, or tend to be too firm and not let them live or be kids. Both ways it makes for trouble.
Where does all this get you? What about your day? When we start showing this love and consideration to our husbands they will, in turn, give it back to us. If they are unhappy and feeling neglected, they will not be able to respond to us.
We are the keepers of the home, the home makers. We can also be the home breakers.
Love your husband, when the kids move out of the house it will be the two of you. Do not wait till then to try to build your relationship to what it should be.