A Dripping Faucet?

Somehow I missed last Monday with my homemaking ideas, but I think I am back on track today.

How has your life been? Mine has been filled to the point my head has been spinning! I wonder why I am even participating in a Homemaking carnival when my home gets to looking like a diseaster area.  Please do not tell me I am the only one that has a home that gets messy!

This weekend I found myself frustrated. Headache from something that the wind blew in, literally.  Worry Concern over a new granddaughter that has jaundice, her sister who is sick and my son in law and daughter who are exhausted; sewing projects piled on the table and my sewing machine decides to act up and may need to be replaced, our work schedule, goats that keep getting tangled up because husband has not got the fence up yet, clothes dryer not able to work when the air is on as it blows the cirguit breaker at the pole (and husband has not put up clothes line yet) … the list goes on.

Now, did you notice something? hint: the word “husband” mentioned?

I used to be more uptight about things, but now it is hard for me to nag. I find I am more laid back and will go through the trouble of putting up with things that there is solutions for that money is not totally involved in.

For instance, we have much of the wire needed for the fencing. Yes, we need some poles, but there are some to get started. It is laying on the side of the house. Something else for the goats rope to get tangled in and me have to go out and untangle.

The supplies to hang the clothes line are behind my freezer in a bag. Well they were in a bag till my granddaughter played with them and broke the bag and dumped them behind the freezer. I can’t put up the line, we live in Texas and it means putting up a pole since there are no big trees.

I can’t take a bath because the tub is filled with cement board and tile for a project that is started and not done.

My craft/computer room is unorganized. I need to get some wood feet under one cabinet so the drawers will open and I can fix the one that broke trying to open it on the floor. A large shelf needs to be moved out too.

When you live in a small place things look cluttered pretty easily.  Drives me bonkers.

Now, as I said, Nagging is hard for me. I think that is good in many ways. Before I nag I think. What has he been doing? How is he feeling? Is he wasting time and just not doing or is there a reason?

  • Till recently my husband has not been getting days off, but rather working many hours
  • He is tired when he is home
  • Some of the projects need money we do not have
  • Some projects take my time at the same time and we are not able to get it together or I need to do something just before he has to do something then we need to put it all back after he is done. This takes time together and time for each of us. Scheduling can be a problem.

What I have learned after years of marriage is that we need to think before we nag and grumble. It seems so obvious, yet so hard at times.

Let me explain how I learned this lesson.

Before Rick, I had been married to a wonderful man. We had a good marriage. I loved him very much. However, I was much more head-strong. I would nag, sometimes with that silent nag, you know the one, get angry under your breath, grumble, have your little tantrums about things not getting done. Maybe not so others will even notice, but he knew. Arguments followed. Finally he did it, and then it may not be done right as he was now angry too.

Then one day this man you love has a heart attack. Nothing that happened when you were nagging, but rather on our vacation when it was fun. He was between life and death for 3 weeks.  I changed. When I knew that our life would never be the same again, it all hit me. I knew I had to do something to make life easier on him and needed to think more.

Before I complained, nagged, grumbled to him I asked myself this: Is this worth him getting stressed out and having another heart attack over? If it is, grumble, if not, shut up.

He lived through the attack and the following kidney failure, but we knew it was just a matter of time. I stuck with that change. I complained when he was eating something not good for him (like the bag of potato chips that were left in the house). Other times I would get after him when needed, but not like before.

My husband did die and I remarried. I still think before I complain or nag. I have a wonderful husband who has a tiring life at work. I have a tiring life at home.  I learned to think.

Things will get done, eventually. Not on my schedule, but they will get done. I want to grumble ,sometimes, about the goat fence. The weather has been close to 100 or above out there. Would me, after working all day want to go out and work on that in this heat? Not on your life! Neither does he. Fall is coming. It will get done. Eventually.

Homemaking and being a wife involve a lot. It takes sacrifice, patience and love. It is not all about us and what we need when we need it.

The Bible says a nagging wife is like a drippy faucet.  I have one of those too! We can’t find the part to fix it. It drips, loudly. So loud we turn off the water at the hot water heater to keep it from dripping. (It is summer and in Texas the cold water is warm enough for most things anyway!) I know I would not want to be thought of as a dripping faucet. A nag. A control freak whose husband needs to jump at my command. No way!

Ladies, let’s be sure to turn off the faucet. Stop the dripping and think before we nag, grumble, complain, get on him.

6 thoughts on “A Dripping Faucet?

  1. OK, I’ll say it: You are the only one with a messy house (I say with my fingers crossed behind my back).
    To your helpful hint, I say AMEN!!!!! I never wanted to be the wife that nags so much the husband does it just to get away from nagging wife. It hasn’t been easy. Its my nature to nag, and hubby is hardwired to ‘perform under nag pressure’ Hubby is not really self-motivated at home. That is an up down round and round thing. Sometimes good round, sometimes not. Most the time, I find, either way, it is my doing. Thank you for this reminder today-I needed it. (I’m sorry you lost your husband, I’m glad you found love again!) Carla

  2. I agree on the Nagging thing. It doesn’t get the job done any faster. My husband works 7 days a week, almost every week. There is a lot of stuff he doesn’t get done. that’s where I step in and do what I can and what I can’t gets put off and worked around. Usually it’s not a big deal and it’s not worth arguing over, that’s for sure.

    GREAT post!

  3. I hate to say it but I need to work on the disagreements that we have. But when it comes to things getting done I don’t nag. I wait till he has rest and is putsying around. The very sweetly I’ll ask “Honey are you busy so you can ______?” I know how to time things. We will be married 17 yrs 9/26. You learn a few things along the way.

  4. Hi Peggie. Thank you so much for submitting this post. It was so touching. I, too, lost my first husband and have learned that it is better to let some (or most) things go. I don’t know if my husband would agree that I do that, but I know I have gotten better over the years. A moving post. Thank you again and hope to see you next week. :)

  5. I know this is kind of a late post, but wanted to shae a quick story. We have a lot of closets in our apartment… YES, I am thankful for them!! My husband has a habit of leaving doors open, I like them closed. One day after he went to work I did my usual make the bed, do the breakfast dishes and run around closing doors and grumbling under my breath. Then God spoke to my heart and said pray for my husband to be blessed where ever he is, what ever he is doing right now. sO, INSTEAD OF GRUMBLING, it is now habit to pray for God to bless him, for whatever he needs at the moment I encounter the “offense” .. and, guess what… without a word on my part, he is closing the closet doors.. most of the time… now, if he could learn to throw a t-shirt in the laundry without turning it inside out… nahh, gotta have some offenses to keep me praying during the day!

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