Honor your husband

I seem to have “forgotten” something in the vows. Honor. It is a word we do not use towards our spouses. We use it for soldiers (unless we protest the war) we use it for kids “honor your father and mother” but do they know what it means? Usually we are telling them to make them obey. We want companies to honor our coupon, or a sale, or their return policy. But what does it really mean and what does it have to do with our spouse?

Again, I go to Mr. Webster:

synonyms honor, homage, reverence, deference mean respect and esteem shown to another. honor may apply to the recognition of one’s right to great respect or to any expression of such recognition . homage adds the implication of accompanying praise. reverence implies profound respect mingled with love, devotion, or awe. deference implies a yielding or submitting to another’s judgment or preference out of respect or reverence .

Reverence? Honor? Me? To him? yup! Some may be smugly thinking “man I am glad I did not have that in my vows.” Problem is, it is what God expects of us also.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:33

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1Peter 3:7

Honor all people, ( yup, your husband is a person!)love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king. 1 Peter 2:17

You know what I found? I would go to church women’s meetings and most would start with gossip, from there it would go to the bad things that their husband does. This would then be gossiped by the rest of the people there. Everyone would “help” by telling them what they should and should not do because their husband does such and such or else it was like a “who can top this” time where people the women would really get going about how bad their husband is. My husband was pastor of five churches over his 30 years in the ministry. I would go to the women’s meetings and end up trying to change it and finally giving up and not going any more. It was supposed to be a church women’s group, or women’s missionary group and was just a gossip and husband bashing with some Bible and how to help the missionaries in between.

Then there are the women who down their husbands, in public and to their face. “I told you not to do that” or “why do you always…” etc.

Honor? Respect? Reverence? I think not!

Think about things you say to and about your husband. In honoring and respecting him you are also honoring and reverencing the Lord. It will have a major impact on your husband and for the Lord. It is not the way the world thinks, but it is the way God wants us to live. Like love, it is not a feeling, it is a decision to do, an action. Not because we may want to, but because it is right.

3 thoughts on “Honor your husband

  1. Wow, I was just talking about this concept with my six-year-old yesterday. I talked about someday he won’t have to OBEY me but he will always have to HONOUR me as his mother. I think that should cut out the mother-in-law jokes for the most part as well, wouldn’t you think?

    That would be very hard, though, to be a pastor’s wife in a church with really bad gossip. Aside from preaching from the pulpit against it or teaching it in the Bible study it would be hard to hold people accountable because sometimes there’s that fine line between gossip and just talking over a problem that needs solving if you know what I mean.

    Mrs. C

  2. I agree with Mrs C. I think alot of times women tend to vent about frustrating situations to other women. I know I tend to do this not out of disrespect to my husband or gossip but to keep me from venting the problem AT him. That would be more disrespectful than looking for solutions from others experience.

  3. i was starting to really feel i would probably be the sole woman that thought about this, at the least at this point i know i’m not loony :) i am going to be sure to see a couple of additional blogposts after i get some caffeine in me, it is really challenging to read with out my coffee, I was up late last night practicing facebook poker and after getting my fill with a few ales i wound up giving up all my facebook poker chips take care :)

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