Reminiscing

It is getting to be the Christmas season. Usually this is the time I am having fun making something for my family. Several years ago it was flannel PJ’s for 39 people. Last year it was towel sets. Before that dresses, vest etc were all part of my Christmas fun.

This year I am laid up with surgery. No sewing. A bit depressed not being able to make candy, bake etc. I am working with one hand not usable at all and one hand only partially there.

Yesterday I began to think  about Christmases past. AND I mean past. Many years ago when I was a kid.

First I need to paint a picture for you.  We were never told that there was a Santa. I always knew that what happened at Christmas was my mom and dad planning a special secret. I knew we were poor and did not have much and what they did was a sacrifice.  But they always made it fun and something to look forward too.  We were not threatened that ‘santa” would not bring something if we were bad etc. Santa was just a joke, funny man in red suit that some kids thought was real. We never told them the truth, but had fun laughing between us about it and how some parents manipulated their kids.

As I said, we were poor. My parents also did missionary printing when I was a little older and turned our living room into a print shop. There were eventually 8 kids in a 3 bedroom home. Us 5 girls in one room and the 3 boys in another. Us girls had a large closet and the wall of the closet backed the shelves in the print shop.  Remember this…I will get back to it.

Before we moved to that home I can remember one Christmas when we lived in Florida. My brother and I each got one of those peddle cars. The (now antique) metal cars you could sit in and drive around. We were pretty hot stuff in those beauties at 3 and 4 yrs old!

Another year I could not sleep. We were in an upstairs bedroom in that house. Shadows on the wall, parents sneaking about all got to me and I wandered down to take a sneak peek.

Mom heard me and as I walked in the room I saw her foot pushing things under the couch and making up some excuse about the shadows I saw!

Then there was the Christmas in the house I described. I have many memories of those years, but will only share two.

We were a bit of brats at times and one year decided to have our fun.  We went inside the closet in us girls room and slowly made a hole through the wall into the print shop. My parents often worked late into the night and the director of a Missionary Organization was often over at the house trying to help get their printing out. This Christmas eve was one of those times. With the noise of the presses going and them talking our noise was not heard. We finally got the hole big enough to shoot paper airplanes out of it. Fooled them as they did not know where they were coming from!

The Director finally left and we were quietly peeking out the hole, waiting to see what was being drug out to put under the tree! Sure enough, things started coming through, but we could see little of it, however it was fun looking and snooping!

Another Christmas that has fond memories was the year my mom was pregnant with my 3rd sister. She was sick that year and dad went and did the shopping. Christmas morning I got up to a doll. I was 12 and did not play with dolls any more. However, it came from dad’s heart and was so precious to me. He loved to hear me play the flute and had found a music book that was all Christmas songs and hymns. That too was a precious item.  I think that was my best Christmas ever though it was not what I would have picked out. Dad did it. Not much money. Not much shopping for kids on his own experience, but all was from his heart and his time.

Christmases past, what memories. Simple. No big ticket items. Little money. Lots of love and joy. We were thankful.

Now, here I am. Older, a grandmother, step grandmother and find myself hoping and praying my kids and grandkids have those simple memories. Gifts from the heart.

Most of all, I hope and pray that the true meaning of Christmas is in everyone reading this.  Don’t let this month keep you from the REAL SPIRIT of the season. Thank God every day for HIS wonderful gift to us.

When Husbands procrastinate

Do you get impatient? Want things done when you want them? Wonder why he can’t get at it and do it?

You are not alone.

I sit here in a house that needs work. Some of it we have no money to fix as it requires more than what we have. However, some we have the items needed to fix the problem, in fact a few jobs the stuff has been here for a few years, but the job is still not done. I can’t do it, at least not alone. He does not have it on a priority list.  Other jobs he has to do, some are urgent, some just to make it look better or be safer, but they do not get done.

Right now we need to make some decisions on heating. Our furnace was struck by lightening and the circuit board was blown out. Our central air goes through the furnace and they were able to direct wire the air for the last bit of the summer, but we have no heat. It is now November 10, and no heat. New furnace? Much money on a 30 something year old furnace? Something else for heat? Decisions needed!

I live in Texas, so heat is not really needed ,for the most part , yet. However, when it hits here it hits, sometimes only a day or two in the beginning, sometimes full force. We KNOW it is coming.  Finances are a big problem but still, some decision needs to be made before we freeze.

Hubby is not worrying about it!

Now, us women tend to want and need certain things. We are in the home, we tend the home as best  we can and hate having floors undone and tripping over linoleum torn or looking at floors with nothing but the bare under-flooring.

Many other things are put off and put off as men do not think of it nor have it as priorities. I get frustrated.

I used to be a nag, used to push for things to get done and get them done now. Not any more. A few things hit me at the time of my late husband’s heart attack back in 1995. While there I knew that his heart attack was not my fault, there was no nagging etc going on then, it just happened. However, those three weeks of watching him hang between life and death made me think. Nothing in the world was worth nagging , complaining about or pushing to get done that would make it worth sending him back into the hospital or worse. Those three weeks changed me greatly. If it was not worth it, I did not push or get after him. If it was a matter of his health, I did, but to get things done or just bacause I did not like his timing or what he was doing or the way, it was not worth it.

Now, I am not a nag, not confrontational, not pushy.

I am praying and asking God to work on him. When I get opportunities to say something constructive, I do.  Yes, it gets frustrating at times, but I have to keep praying.

We need heat. Certain things need to get done. Other things are my own frustration. His clutter setting in the living room,  dead computers here and there and piles of books all over upset me, but are not things that need to get cared for but rather a frustration.

As I look at the situation here and with others I know us women need to pray for our husbands way more than we do and way way more than we nag or push.  Nagging and pushing may get things done in some hubby, but others will build up resentment and a feeling that no matter what they can’t please us.

Men’s brains are different than ours.

I am praying more for my husband to see that there are NEEDS…. like the heat and other things… that have to get done and some very soon. Decisions need to get made and arrangements made. He is well aware that the heat has to be cared for very soon, but making a decision as to what is taking the time.

While I used the heat as an example, I am well aware of all that is involved in making this decision and how much has to be considered. I am sure he is thinking about it, but I hate to have it put off so long that we do something out of desperation instead of thought. Wait to make it and then we could make the wrong one. I am trusting God to make things clear to my dear husband and make the decision easier for him.

Pray for your husband. Things are not easy being a man either. WE women are not to control them, rule them, be the head, even when they are slow about it. God holds them responsible as head and us responsible as a submissive wife who prays for her husband.  I think we have the harder job in some way, but when I look at their responsibility before God I am not sure I would want that either.

I have now rambled, at 4 AM, not even finishing my first cup of coffee!

Hope you have a good day and Pray for that man of yours and the decisions he needs to make today. Pray for a clarity in him of how God wants him to lead the family. Pray for things he has been putting off that are needs. Pray also, for the frustrations you face and see if there is a solution to the nagging and a way to constructively ask or suggest.

Ready! Set! ON YOUR KNEES for that man you married!