Say it with wisdom

Last Monday night our pastor began a series on Proverbs. Yes, we go to a church on Monday night, short version: hubby worked as Building administrator at a church that drifted far from Scripture, so we found a Monday night service in a good Bible Church. We left the other church, but loved the people on Monday night so stayed going to that service.

Now, where was I?  Oh yes, Proverbs.  At the end of the service, he assigned each of us a chapter in Proverbs to read and find 2 proverbs from our chapter that we can share with everyone next week.

My chapter was 15. I have been reading it about every day and praying for what proverbs I should bring to the group next week.  I still do not know what ones I will bring, but I want to share one with you now.

2The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable,
But the mouth of fools spouts folly.

I have been reading this chapter for over a week now, but something happened this weekend that made this verse stand out to me today. I realized how we as wives, moms, friends and strangers can say things and not have them accepted.  I realize we can say things harsh, angry, silly and foolishly.

This weekend I did something that hit me today. I was not wise in the way I said something and it made my knowledge unacceptable to the ears that heard it.

First I need to share a difference between my husband and I.  I was raised in a Christian home. My parents took me to church from the time I was little and I have always gone. I began to have my own ministry at age 16 when I led the 3rd grade Pioneer Girls club. No one else was available and willing and I was. From then on I always had ministries I was involved in.  I married a pastor, we were in different church circles and knew pastors and churches with all different beliefs and preaching styles. When my husband died I went to different churches trying to find my place and learned a lot of what was “book knowledge” first hand. I saw how different churches used same terms with a twist and how they could mean so much different.

My years of church involvement and meeting people coming into our church from all walks of life and church experiences as well as listening to many many preachers, I have come to knowing what certain phrases mean and what “camp” it puts a church or preacher in. Certain phrases point to liberalism, conservatism, fundamental, super fundamental, charismatic, prosperity Gospel or the such.  I hear things and my ears pick up the flags from the camps.

My second husband was not raised in the church. He knows none of the phrases and is only learning the differences now. He studies and is a very intellegent man, but does not have the experience and knowledge I have in these areas.

I was at the old church about a month when I could tell you what camp that pastor was in. I could tell you where he was headed and what deep apostasy he was moving to. And, I did tell Rick. Told him every time we heard the pastor talk or preach. I pointed it out, loud and clear. Rick only knew that teaching. He had no experience or knowledge that there was anything wrong and since at that point he knew nothing of how to study the Bible in a discerning way, he could not see what I was saying.

Fight? Yup. Every time!  Until I got wise. I shut up and began to pray for Rick to see the truth. It took some time, but he finally did. In praying I was led to teach a small group in this church. I did not know if they would even let me and they had me targeted, but my group proposal was not to teach people what to believe but rather, how to study the Bible to be like the Bereans.

10The brethren immediately sent Paul and Silas away by night to Berea, and when they arrived, they went into the synagogue of the Jews.11Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so.(Acts 17:10-11)

Rick came to the class, at first just to support me, but then he got into it when others started seeing the pastor was not teaching right. Not because I told them, I never did, but because the Bible told them. Rick took off then and studied harder and found truth.

So, what happened this weekend?

We are church hunting for something close that we can go to on Sunday. We still want to go on Monday, but the church is 75 miles away and we can’t be involved like we would like. In going to churches we are finding that the Word of God is not being preached in most of them. Small sermonettes, devotionals, talks to not offend anyone. No doctrine.  (In fact, I ask for doctrinal statements from churches and you would be surprised what happens! I am ignored, not responded to, or, in one case, asked “What is that?” Hmmm a  church that has no written beliefs? Did Christ not say to pay attention and preach doctrine?)

OOPs, off the subject…

OK, we are visiting churches and in sitting there so many of them give away their “camp” subtly. I pick up on it and then say something to Rick. I am doing it from experience that he does not have. My knowledge is not coming out as acceptable. Instead of talking about it in a way that will be acceptable, I spout out.

When reading that proverb today I wonder how many times as a wife, mom, friend etc I have spouted out and made truth and knowledge unacceptable to the ears that were hearing it?

I know it takes two and many times we can be saying things in an acceptable way but the ears that hear are not ready to hear. I wonder how many times we make that hearing never come or take a long time coming because we put out our knowledge in a foolish way.

For today, let’s begin to watch our words. Speak wisely and not just out of knowledge. They are not the same.

The Proverbs Woman

The Perfect Wife and Mother from Proverbs 31:10 to 31:

10An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
14She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
15She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
16She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
18She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
20She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and )purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
25Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
26She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
29“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.

Do you notice anything? I do. I am not her.  When I work on sewing, my house falls apart. A 2 year old makes sure of it, as do the dishes from the last meal (or 2 or 3).

I can’t get my money to stretch to buy supplies.

My creativity gets lost somewhere at times.

When things get to me I want to just sit. I am tired. My brain gets fried. I get to missing my family that is not in Texas.

More creativity leaves.

I am a naturally creative person. I have made things work by using what I have. Sometimes I fill this way more than others. Right now, I feel like a failure.

Do you notice that it says in verse 30 that a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised? It is the most important thing. Even through the slow times, the trying times, the stress times, if we fear the Lord we will come through it.

Stress! Yes, that is it. Stress hinders creativity. Stress tires. Stress short circuits the brain. When stress is allowed it smothers out trusting and fearing the Lord.

Maybe my husband’s hours at work have been cut. Maybe vacation to see my family is not looking possible. Maybe things at the house are falling apart. Maybe the sewing is not getting done or the business not going anywhere right now. Maybe ….  BUT am I trusting the Lord? Is my faith and fear in Him? My dependency for all of this?  How about my creativity itself? Maybe a test? Am I failing?

We women think we are super women, and when we read Proverbs we think we should be. However, read that verse 30 again… and again. It is by fearing the Lord that we can be that super woman. It is HIm in us. It is His guidence, doing things His way and trusting. We get burned out on our own.

Read Proverbs. Start with the beginning and read a chapter or less a day. You will find so much for us women. Do we build our home or tear it down? How does God expect us to be in the home?  Are we a dripping faucet? A control freak? A boss? hmmmmmmmmmm ?  If so, we are not fearing the Lord.

I must have flushed it down!

I don’t know about you but when I lay in bed I can think of all kinds of things to write about, or life happenings, things I should do etc. I get up and they fall out of my brain? Does this happen to you?

I woke at 4 this morning and tried to stay in bed a bit. I thought of the blog post, and had all ideas in my head. I then thought about some sewing and embroidery ideas. I planned my day to a degree also.  Then I got up.

Where did it go? I retraced my steps. I went to the bathroom. Hmmmmmmm yup, that was the last time I remembered anything. I sat on the toilet and got up and everything was out of my brain. Everything but making my husbands lunch!

I went back to bed, tried to remember. Nope. Not working. Maybe I left them in by the new kittens? Nope, did not come back to me there either.

When I started this post I was thinking maybe it would all come to me when I was writing, but it has not. What was the creative idea I had for the outfit I am sewing? What was my post wording? What was my list for today? Has this ever happened to you? (KIDS: Please, no remarks about getting older!!!)

I have come to a conclusion. Last place I remember having them was when I went to the bathroom. I think I flushed them down!

Happy Mother’s Day

Is this your Mother’s day greeting? NO? Was not mine either.

You see, for me, and maybe you, my kids are grown, married and have kids of their own. Not only that but my family is spread out. Four kids in Maine, one in NC and then my step kids are here in Texas.  Yesterday I cried. I wanted so much to see the ones from my side. I received two great cards in the mail yesterday and cried more. I miss them all.

Not only that, I miss my own mother. She lives in NJ and is no spring Chicken any more either.

Mother’s Days are not the same when you get older, so I have a suggestion or two.

  • Thank God for your mom. Dead or alive, near or far, good mom or bad, you would not be here without her. You would not be enjoying your own children, having a relationship with our heavenly Father or enjoying life if it was not for her.
  • Enjoy being a mom if you are one.
  • Look at the things your kids do through their eyes. What we see as adults is not always what they see or think. They have hearts that want to give. Accept the gifts and gestures without criticism or complaint. The flowers they bring, the drawings they make, even the mess from breakfast for you. Yes, it does make more work for you to clean up the mess, but look at their heart and encourage them.
  • Be thankful, even when you are missing them, hurting for their lack of caring (yes, some kids will not bother to acknowledge the day) pray for them.

Mom’s we are blessed. We are a blessing. Enjoy your day!

Forced Frugality and Online Learning

Does your wallet look like this? So many of us are getting this way with the economy the way it is going. We have been hit too. With me being a WAHGM and my husband’s job cutting overtime first and now cutting actual hours things look glim. At least with hours cut we still have insurance, more than some people have, so I am thankful.

For many of us frugality was a choice. We could do some here or there and get by. We cut where we wanted to and where chose to cut. Now many are forced to cut everywhere.

For us, my husband is a big one for wanting to eat out. We cut in places and kept him happy eating out once a week. Now, that is impossible.

I am not trying to make some special meals on little money, and checking blogs for how others do it! If you have suggestions leave them in the comments please!

One thing I want to keep is my internet. I find that you not only can keep contact with family and friends you can save a lot of money with do it yourself tutorials and learning.

Need to fix your sink leak? Look online. How about get some online learning to keep your mind fresh or to help job hunting?  MIT,  as well as many other colleges offer them free online. There are tutorials for free for all kinds of things from sewing to fixing your car. Not that I would try all of them, but they are there!

Besides a google search, you can go to sites like:

Lifehacker, Thrifty fun, tipnut, ehow and other places.

DIY helps with house projects.

These are only the tip of the iceberg on places to help save money. For some a necessity and others a desire.  Another place to check out is Life as a Mom. On Fridays many bloggers get together and give their frugal ways out to all bloggy world. Check it out!