Showing Love

On Wednesdays I am going to be offering some ideas that work for me in my marriage, relationship with kids or Spiritually. I am hoping that they will be of some use to some of you where you are in your life. Rocks in My Dryer has a Works for Me Wednesday and there are many ideas for doing all kinds of things, so when you are done here hop on over there for some other ideas. Since my blog is about the command in Titus 3:5, I want to keep my thoughts on this line.

I love to please my husband. I am not saying I give up all of me just to make him happy. I have opinions, I have wants, I have my unwritten “honey do” list. (Note I said unwritten. We will discuss that later.) Even when I do not feel it, I show him love. I have found it is usually the little things that mean so much.

  • his favorite sandwiches, even if I do not like them and eat something else.
  • encouraging him when he wants to try something, especially if is does not cost much. My husband loves books and studying. When we make a trip to Austin he likes to stop at as many half price books as he can, as well as the thrift shop book sections. I love thrift shops, so they are no problem at all, and I like books, but not as much as he does. I do not complain about the book stores, and he lets me have all the time I need in the thrift shops and fabric or hobby stores.
  • “Can I get you a drink” while he is watching TV or on the computer.
  • Make the bed. For my husband this was a real treat and now he makes it if I do not get it done in the morning.

Know what small things make him happy, and do them. It shows love even if you do not feel it, makes him know you are there for him and it has it’s own rewards (eventually for some) for you.

Oh , Yes, the unwritten “honey do” list. Most men cringe at seeing this list on the frig, mirror in the bathroom etc. Or even knowing that every day they are off you have planned. They need down time the same as you. I have my list, but I ask him for the important thing at a time after he has had his down time, ask for him to see when he could do it and if he thinks it is a good idea. Usually after we talk, he knows it needs to be done and will find the time to do it. Not always in MY time frame (in fact almost never in MY time frame), but it gets done… eventually!

Mistakes Christians Make in Love

Last night I was laying there awake at 3 AM. I had a dream that woke me and then I dozed off and had another dream on the same line as the first. Something out of the ordinary, nothing I was thinking about at bed. By now I was more awake. When this happens I pray and think. Last night God brought to mind a fellow blogger that is currently going through something I experienced and know too well how she feels. I prayed for her for some time, then my mind went to some other thoughts.

As I laid there thinking about something that was brought to my attention this week I realized that it is something that I need to discuss here.

Christians are getting very caught up in what the world says instead of what God says. One of the biggest areas I see is with the family, with love, and with commitment. Remember the little ditty sung by school kids: “first comes love, next comes marriage then comes _____ with a baby carriage”? Today it is all messed up. I think there are many out there that have never heard that because it has long since been considered out dated. However, it is not out dated with God. God still has those priorities. He calls sex outside of marriage “adultery, fornication and whoremonging”. Living together before marriage, sex with someone not your spouse and a same sex relationship are all out of God’s will and commands. We can’t expect His blessing.

Today we see all of these among Christians who claim to be following the Lord. If you are really a born again Christian and are in one of these relationships you will, sooner or later, be chastised by the Lord. Unhappiness, guilt ( the biggie that comes out in different ways) or an uneasiness. If it is an extra marital affair you can be sure that if they cheated with you they will cheat on you at some point.

My heart has gone out to couples who love the Lord and are caught up in these types of relationship or lifestyle. This week someone we know has had their partner walk out. The hurt is there. With no marriage bond, she just left him with no recourse.

Another place Christians get caught up is in marrying the wrong person. In Corinthians it says to not be equally yoked with unbelievers. How many ignore that command? They think it will work, they think they can change him or her and win them for the Lord. It is a command, DON’T Do It! Yet we think we know more than God.

Ever see oxen pulling a wagon or plow? They pick two about the same size, even strength or else the cart or plow will go in circles.
A Christian and a non-Christian have two different goals, two different destinations. The Christian: living for the Lord and heaven, the non-Christian: living for self and hell. It is like a tug of war game each one having different goals and destination.

Again, you can’t change your spouse, only God can. Disobedience will not bring blessing.

If you are a Born again Christian, God has a lifestyle for you. Vows, proper steps and blessing are all part of it.

My New Template

I have changed my template. I guess I did not need to tell you regulars that, you have eyes. I have wanted a 3 column one and have been slow about adding things to the sidebars since you sometimes lose them when you change templates.

My original was made by Gisele Jaquenod and I loved it, but wanted three columns. I tried to do it myself, but things would not line up, so I then asked her if she could do it. She has been most gracious to me and tried. It was not working out, but she made this one with a garden theme and I like it. No, it is not the pink one, but it is cute anyway and I thank her so much. If you have a blog and want to see some cute templates try her site. She has other things there as well.

Thanks Gis!

Marriage Vows

When I married the vows I made were as follows:

My Husband said:

“I, Rick,
Take you, Peggie,
To be my wedded wife;
To have and to hold,
From this day forward,
For better, for worse,
For richer, for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
To love and to honor,
‘Till death do us part.”

My response was:

“I, Peggie,
Take you, Rick,
To be my wedded husband;
To have and to hold,
From this day forward,
For better, for worse,
For richer, for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
To love, honor and obey,
‘Till death do us part.”

I am sure in some way or other your vows were similar. Yet how many of us will sometimes, even secretly, think of breaking those vows. I mean “till death do us part” is a long time! For better or worse, wow!

I want to look at our vows over the next few posts. See what is really in a marriage vow. Today I want to look at what a vow is, since we make one when we marry we need to know what we made or are going to make.

Merriam Webster defines a vow as:

a solemn[serious] promise or assertion; specifically : one by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition. (brackets mine from his synonym for solemn)

When we make a vow it is not to be done lightly. It is a binding to act, binding to a condition (marriage) and binding to a person (our spouse). The Bible says our word should be truth, and that our vows should be kept.

Today too many people do not take their vows seriously. We have disposable marriages. Statistics are not good for people getting married today (and progressively worse for 2nd, 3rd etc marriages) as they do not understand or want to go into it knowing it is something till death do us part. Is your word worth anything? Do you mean what you say? Have you thought through what you did the day you married?

Take a look at your vows, if you are married. If you are not, really contemplate those vows before you step into a life long relationship. Remember, you make those pledges before people. sometimes many people, but more importantly you make them before God. You will need to answer to Him someday for the vows you have made.