What is a godly grandmother?

I have been asked this question, along with a number of others as people read my blog. I want to answer what I can and will do my best to hunt down what I do not know. Soon I am planning to have an e-zine out once or twice a month to begin and will have questions and answers on it as well as more than I put in my blog. I am having trouble getting the sign up on the blog itself without sending you to another page to sign up, if anyone knows how to put a phplist sign up on several blogs with it hosted on a website let me know!

Now,

“What is a godly grandmother? For example: my own mom got a college degree after her kids were grown and is now a teacher at a Christian school. She rarely has time for us. On the other hand my aunt practically raises her grand kids, drives them to school, cleans her daughter’s house while her daughter is at work, and takes all the kids to their various activities. She even takes them a lot on weekends too. What is the biblical model of a Grandma? Should my mom be staying at home (the best place for a woman, in my opinion, wherever possible) and try to help more in mentoring me and being a godly influence to her grandchildren? Or is it right that I do it on my own with no help? I realize my aunt’s method is unhealthy and don’t want that either!”

Today’s world has made life a dilemma. The world says go get what you can and be all you can be (in the world) and has become very self centered. When we look back on the way things were, women stayed home, took care of family, each generation training the next one down. Men did the same with the boys, turning them into men. Now, families are split, boys have no father roll models and girls have a mom that is away and letting someone else watch them. However, what about when a woman has raised her children, is her roll done? Can she now do whatever she wants because the children are not there and she is free? What does the Bible say?

Again I go to Titus 3:5:

“Let the older women teach the younger women to love their husbands, love their children, be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored”

What does the Bible say about a grandmother? I find one reference and that is in 2 Timothy 1:5

“For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.”

Here Paul is talking about Timothy’s grandmother and the her faith being taught to Timothy. Apparently she was a real woman of God who had a lot of contact with her grandson and taught him the ways of God.

A Biblical woman follows what God has set for her. Scripture clearly says the older is to teach the younger, go back and read Titus 3:5 again. How do the younger learn? How does anyone learn? We learn by seeing it in practice as well as being told.

I take my position of wife and mother to be the highest calling I, as a woman, can have. I believe each has a commitment, responsibility and debt to the next generation. We have failed greatly in this over the last few generations. People have become more independent, more self-centered and as a result there is the mess there is today with families.

Now, back to the full question asked me. I am glad you see that what your aunt is doing is wrong. It is not teaching, it is doing and controlling. It is letting a mom get out of her responsibilities to her family. What your mom is doing I will not say is wrong, but there needs to be a balance. There should be teaching and helping.

All this said, I know there are times when a mom has to work, death, divorce and such leave a family needing the mom out there. This should be when the family steps in and cares for the children so they do not need to go to day care. If this is possible.

I do not live near most of my kids, but when I was there I kept them and tried to teach and help. Now, I babysit a precious granddaughter for her mom and we work together for her good. I have a good relationship with my step daughter and she looks to me for help and teaching, both of her and her baby.

The world has come into the family and is dividing it up, confusing the roles of parents and grandparents , making God’s ways appear old fashioned or out dated. His ways are not, and I would love to see us move back to what He says.

If we read Proverbs 31 and see what a godly woman is (mother, grandmother, single) we see she works from home, puts family first and is someone that can be looked up to. Moms and grand moms we need to become what God has set out for us. For our children and grandchildren to be whole this is needed.

Showing Love

On Wednesdays I am going to be offering some ideas that work for me in my marriage, relationship with kids or Spiritually. I am hoping that they will be of some use to some of you where you are in your life. Rocks in My Dryer has a Works for Me Wednesday and there are many ideas for doing all kinds of things, so when you are done here hop on over there for some other ideas. Since my blog is about the command in Titus 3:5, I want to keep my thoughts on this line.

I love to please my husband. I am not saying I give up all of me just to make him happy. I have opinions, I have wants, I have my unwritten “honey do” list. (Note I said unwritten. We will discuss that later.) Even when I do not feel it, I show him love. I have found it is usually the little things that mean so much.

  • his favorite sandwiches, even if I do not like them and eat something else.
  • encouraging him when he wants to try something, especially if is does not cost much. My husband loves books and studying. When we make a trip to Austin he likes to stop at as many half price books as he can, as well as the thrift shop book sections. I love thrift shops, so they are no problem at all, and I like books, but not as much as he does. I do not complain about the book stores, and he lets me have all the time I need in the thrift shops and fabric or hobby stores.
  • “Can I get you a drink” while he is watching TV or on the computer.
  • Make the bed. For my husband this was a real treat and now he makes it if I do not get it done in the morning.

Know what small things make him happy, and do them. It shows love even if you do not feel it, makes him know you are there for him and it has it’s own rewards (eventually for some) for you.

Oh , Yes, the unwritten “honey do” list. Most men cringe at seeing this list on the frig, mirror in the bathroom etc. Or even knowing that every day they are off you have planned. They need down time the same as you. I have my list, but I ask him for the important thing at a time after he has had his down time, ask for him to see when he could do it and if he thinks it is a good idea. Usually after we talk, he knows it needs to be done and will find the time to do it. Not always in MY time frame (in fact almost never in MY time frame), but it gets done… eventually!

Seven Characteristics of a God Honoring Wife

I have been thinking of this blog off and on all day. I guess I was really thinking of the verse from Titus 3:5; “Let the older women teach the younger women to love their husbands, love their children, be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored”.

Teach the younger women to:

  • love their husbands
  • love their children
  • be sensible
  • be pure
  • be workers at home
  • be kind
  • be subject to their own husbands

This brings to my mind my marriage, my children and my life. I asked myself what was the hardest parts of this for me to fill myself? How do I fulfill these areas? What am I still working on? (Hint: ALL of it!)

Having been a pastor’s wife for almost 30 years I am very aware of the marriages that are falling apart, kids that are left without a mom and dad in the same home and how promiscuity has become the way of life for many. While I know there are many young women out there who are working on their marriages and being the wife they are to be, we see wives who are not subject to their own husbands and are so independent and self-centered that they put only themselves first.

Where are you in all of this?

My next post will be taking a look at your marriage vows.