Being a grandmother

I have to admit that when I first found out I was going to be a grandmother I cried. I did not want to be a grandmother, never. A grandmother was old. Now, before you think anything, I loved my grandmother. Really lived her. Growing up I had great grandmothers alive too, and they were special. It was fun to go to their homes, even though they were old.

For me though, I just hate getting older. Having one of your kids make you a grandmother just meant that kid was making you age way faster than you ever wanted to. So I dreaded it.

That was many years ago now. I soon learned that while I dreaded being a grandmother it was fun. My first grandchild I got to spoil a bit and then send home. WOW, way better than your own kids, you could not spoil them as they were already home, you had to live with it. Then the second grandchild came along and she would not go home! Ivy wanted to stay with me all the time. People thought she was my own child and she acted it as well. I rather enjoyed knowing I was grammie and yet people were saying things about my daughter and Ivy got to where she just went along with it and we laughed together.

Now, we have 19 grandkids,  two of them are step from my daughters marriage, but loved the same. I still can keep up with the little one I keep everyday and enjoy all the laughs that come with it.

I thought I would share my yesterday with you:

Scout is not going to be 3 for  about 6 weeks yet, but she has been much like my own kids were, talked early and thought  way too much. It keeps you on your toes and you never know what is going to come out of their mouths, and come out very clearly.

Backtrack a bit. My one daughter was allergy prone, very bad, and would get extremely sick over a number of foods. As a result they told me the best thing was to keep nursing her till she no longer wanted it. This way she was sure to keep her nutrition up and get a good start in life. Well, she no longer wanted it at 2.5 yrs! However, she was talking very clear before a year and would very nicely ask to nurse, loudly and clearly.  She had no idea that sitting in church was not the right time to very loudly and clearly say “I want to nurse Mommy”.

Ok, now, this is the way Scout has been, loud, clear and very articulate.

Back to yesterday. I had to run around and pay some bills as well as go to the bank etc. Later in the day I had a vet appointment for our dog and so wanted to get started early.  I dressed Scout, got her in the car and we headed out.

Scout loves yard sales so we did not get too far when she said she wanted to find some yard sales while we were out. I told her if we found any we would stop. She then reminded me how much she like yard sales and wanted to go.

We stopped at the bank and were heading to the first bill paying stop when I pulled into the local radio station to get their daily radiogram. This little paper has a quick update on local news, classified section, and a garage sale list for the area. I got the paper and went to pull out in the traffic but had to get across two lanes to make the turn to where we needed to go pay a bill. After waiting a bit I hit the gas to make it across the traffic.

Scout: WOW we ZOOMED! I like to zoom, zoom some more

me: I only zoomed to get across the road, we did not want to get hit

Scout: Zoom more grammie, I like zooming

Me: Lets get in and pay the bill

Scout: then we zoom more and go to a yard sale?

We now pay the bill and get in the car. Before the seat belt is done she is yelling to zoom more!

I get to the next place, pay the bill and get back in the car. More requests to zoom and go to a yard sale come. I dig out the paper and start looking for any sales that might be on a Friday.

I am semi reading out loud and then came to an ad that gave directions and then ended with “Lots of stuff” .

Scout: Did it say lots of stuff?

Me: Yes, that is what the ad said

Scout: Good, cause I like BIG YARD SALES. Let’s zoom there.

I drove legally there and we looked all around and she really enjoyed herself. We then get in the car to go home and as I am going down their long drive (I live in Texas, it is all long driveways!) I told her we had to pay one more bill and then get home.  She needed to eat lunch early and get an early nap since we had to go to the vets when she would normally be sleeping. She listened and then said:

“Grammie, drive slow. Do not zoom.”

Me: why not, you wanted me to zoom all morning

Scout: Not now, do not zoom. Go really slow

Me: I do not understand, why do I need to drive really slow?

After a few more questions it comes out: “I do not want to take a nap”.

The rest of the day went about the same, as do most days with her. I laugh so much and find being a grammie is fun. Sure, when you have them all day every day you can’t spoil as much, but I would not want to trade having them around either. I wish I lived near all of them so I could enjoy them. How I miss the others.

I hope that these kids have fond memories of their grammie like I do of mine.

Today I feel lost

Most of you know I watch one of my grand kids all day. We have fun together and I love it. Lately it as been a 3 ring circus with the addition of the bottle baby goat. Scout wants Jack out and playing with her, or in the house playing with her.  Jack is outside, sleeping on the porch and looks bored. I am inside thinking of all I need to and want to get done but it is hot and I am thrown off my schedule.

You see, Scout is away with her mom for a long weekend. I do not have her today, or at all till Tuesday.

So much to do.

It just feels so weird.  My husband said to take a nap, but I do not feel like it.

When she is here I have trouble accomplishing anything and think how I would love a day to myself. Well I have it, and I feel lost.

So does Jack.

What is a godly grandmother?

I have been asked this question, along with a number of others as people read my blog. I want to answer what I can and will do my best to hunt down what I do not know. Soon I am planning to have an e-zine out once or twice a month to begin and will have questions and answers on it as well as more than I put in my blog. I am having trouble getting the sign up on the blog itself without sending you to another page to sign up, if anyone knows how to put a phplist sign up on several blogs with it hosted on a website let me know!

Now,

“What is a godly grandmother? For example: my own mom got a college degree after her kids were grown and is now a teacher at a Christian school. She rarely has time for us. On the other hand my aunt practically raises her grand kids, drives them to school, cleans her daughter’s house while her daughter is at work, and takes all the kids to their various activities. She even takes them a lot on weekends too. What is the biblical model of a Grandma? Should my mom be staying at home (the best place for a woman, in my opinion, wherever possible) and try to help more in mentoring me and being a godly influence to her grandchildren? Or is it right that I do it on my own with no help? I realize my aunt’s method is unhealthy and don’t want that either!”

Today’s world has made life a dilemma. The world says go get what you can and be all you can be (in the world) and has become very self centered. When we look back on the way things were, women stayed home, took care of family, each generation training the next one down. Men did the same with the boys, turning them into men. Now, families are split, boys have no father roll models and girls have a mom that is away and letting someone else watch them. However, what about when a woman has raised her children, is her roll done? Can she now do whatever she wants because the children are not there and she is free? What does the Bible say?

Again I go to Titus 3:5:

“Let the older women teach the younger women to love their husbands, love their children, be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored”

What does the Bible say about a grandmother? I find one reference and that is in 2 Timothy 1:5

“For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.”

Here Paul is talking about Timothy’s grandmother and the her faith being taught to Timothy. Apparently she was a real woman of God who had a lot of contact with her grandson and taught him the ways of God.

A Biblical woman follows what God has set for her. Scripture clearly says the older is to teach the younger, go back and read Titus 3:5 again. How do the younger learn? How does anyone learn? We learn by seeing it in practice as well as being told.

I take my position of wife and mother to be the highest calling I, as a woman, can have. I believe each has a commitment, responsibility and debt to the next generation. We have failed greatly in this over the last few generations. People have become more independent, more self-centered and as a result there is the mess there is today with families.

Now, back to the full question asked me. I am glad you see that what your aunt is doing is wrong. It is not teaching, it is doing and controlling. It is letting a mom get out of her responsibilities to her family. What your mom is doing I will not say is wrong, but there needs to be a balance. There should be teaching and helping.

All this said, I know there are times when a mom has to work, death, divorce and such leave a family needing the mom out there. This should be when the family steps in and cares for the children so they do not need to go to day care. If this is possible.

I do not live near most of my kids, but when I was there I kept them and tried to teach and help. Now, I babysit a precious granddaughter for her mom and we work together for her good. I have a good relationship with my step daughter and she looks to me for help and teaching, both of her and her baby.

The world has come into the family and is dividing it up, confusing the roles of parents and grandparents , making God’s ways appear old fashioned or out dated. His ways are not, and I would love to see us move back to what He says.

If we read Proverbs 31 and see what a godly woman is (mother, grandmother, single) we see she works from home, puts family first and is someone that can be looked up to. Moms and grand moms we need to become what God has set out for us. For our children and grandchildren to be whole this is needed.